40 days postpartum. I said what I said. THE MOST IMPORTANT 40 DAYS OF YOUR LIFE SIS. Don’t ever be convinced otherwise. However, I need to clear something up before you we get into this crucial topic. 

Postpartum vs. Postpartum Depression

Postpartum is the period of time after birth. Any period of time after birth, really. It is not to be confused with postpartum depression, the type of depression a mother is diagnosed with after giving birth. Somewhere along the way, the two got wrapped up and they absolutely do not mean the same thing. Now that we’ve settled that, we can discuss why we’re really here.

We’re Doing It Wrong!

For women around the world, the postpartum period is culturally sacred. Rushing a new mom out the door and back to work isn’t an option, and she’s emotionally and even physically supported by friends and family. Oftentimes, that support lasts even longer than 40 days. Unfortunately, here in America, we don’t have much emphasis on postpartum care outside of frozen pads and peri bottles. But I like to believe that with so many women focused on self care these days, we’re transitioning into a place where we know how to care and advocate for ourselves during and after giving birth.

Doulas used to be a rich gworl luxury, and you had to have serious means to afford one. I’m seeing more and more of us invite doulas and birthing coaches along for our journey. Now we realize, we need the support!

Why It’s Important.

I once had a doula tell me that a woman can cure herself of a lifetime of illnesses during the first 40 days postpartum. 4-6 weeks after delivery, your uterus goes through a natural cleansing process. Bleeding (lochia) and shedding for 40 days. It is absolutely wild, and completely natural. This is the main reason you need to take it easy. Over exerting yourself can cause heavier bleeding and put you at risk for clots. We don’t need that!

My Haitian mother in law forbade me from leaving the house for at least 2 weeks. I was allowed to walk around the driveway and the balcony. But if I wanted to go somewhere she would scream at me “You are an open wound!” It was hysterical, but also a little bit true. 

Apparently, she kept a thick pair of socks in her pocket because every time I walked around the house barefoot, she would give me a verbal lashing and demand I put them on. I suppose the idea was, walking around barefoot on a cold floor would get me sick? Honestly, i don’t know, but i wore the damn socks.

My births were beautiful experiences. After all, I was made to do it, but it was a traumatic shock to the body. A highly stressful situation for my vag. Every woman needs time and grace to heal from something like that! Warming foods like soups and stew is all I ate for weeks. Teas at night to calm me down, plenty of rest whenever I could afford to do so. I wasn’t burdened with laundry or cooking. My mom and mother in law were major keys to my recovery. They did EVERYTHING for me.

I was able to bond with my baby, focus on breastfeeding, ate things that increased my milk supply, and allowed myself to feel all the feelings. I believe that completely shutting it down for as long as I could, made a difference in how I felt. Once I stopped bleeding (which seemed like forever) I was a new woman. I was healthier, my body worked more efficiently, and even though I wasn’t sleeping enough, I never got sick. Somehow I was able to take care of my little one even when I wasn’t 100%, probably because i slowed down when it really mattered.

Fasting, but for your lady parts?

I like to equate those 40 days to a version of purging, because that’s what it felt like. It was a detox and serious cleansing for me. My husband is a bit of a health nut, and spent the better part of two years researching and experimenting what he could cure himself from with fasting. Water fasting (only drinking water). Dry fasting (no food or water), for 7-14 days.

There is tons of research about how fasting relives inflammation and can aid in curing diseases and prevention. After 15 hours of fasting, the body starts to regenerate new cells, which means that old cells, diseased cells, even cancerous cells, are being destroyed. 

So while my body is purging, healing and cleaning itself, I imagine new cells being generated. I imagine illness leaving my body in a way that it couldn’t before. I imagine that 40 days of being open and vulnerable is adding years to my life if I treat myself right and put the very best in my body. It is a rare opportunity to replenish myself. This might be TMI, but when you see just how much comes out of you after you have your baby, you’ll understand. Like I said, it’s wild. I’m not sure how else to describe it without totally freaking you out. 

I realize I was fortunate in so many ways and everyone doesn’t have a partner, or a village to help them as much as they deserve. But you can absolutely make the best of this time and STILL take care of you. Position your mind to make these 40 days a priority. Say hell no to anything extracurricular. Do only what you have to. Pay extra attention to what you eat, what you drink, what you watch, where you go, EVERYTHING. You treat yourself like a pillow princess!

Do a bit of research about how women in other countries navigate postpartum and you’ll see we DO NOT give ourselves enough attention. Have all the feelings, cry when you want (that’s a form of cleansing too), sleep whenever the baby allows, try all the home remedies. This is the 4th trimester, sis. 

40 Days “Need To Know”

Be kind to your body. That means eat well! You may feel too tired to eat, eat anyway. Bone broth, organic of course, stews, soups, keep it simple, nothing too heavy.

Sleep every chance you get.

Don’t rush to get out. Stay home, if you need fresh air walk around your neighborhood, but limit contact with people to protect yourself and your baby.

Wear your damn socks.

Don’t get bold and use a mirror to take a peek at your vagina.

Also, if you’re ever in doubt about how much you need to take it easy and heal, use a mirror and look at your vagina.

You can bleed for 6 weeks. It probably won’t last that long, but it could. Watch out for clots and keep communication with your doula or OBGYN.

Use your belly band! It works.

If you plan on taking your capsulated placenta, wait a few days to see how your hormones naturally regulate. I took mine and they made me crazy.

Take a social media break. Do not get caught up in the snap back hype. Even if your tummy is flat, YOU WILL NOT LOOK LIKE YOUR PRE BABY SELF. Shxt is different, give yourself time to adjust to what it is now.

Don’t forget to do your kegels!

No visitors. That was a big one for me! People want to come around and soak up all the goodness of your fresh baby. Very few people met my babies in the first 2 weeks. Protect their energy and yours too!

They will put you in a diaper while you’re in the hospital. Embrace it, and take a few home!

Enjoy your 40 days, sis. Pillow Princess in all her glory. And don’t apologize for prioritizing yourself.