Rethinking Resolutions Because It’s Giving “Been There, Done That.”

Rethinking Resolutions Because It’s Giving “Been There, Done That.”

2023 is the year of becoming, and not just achieving.

As we close out the year 2022, and start to look ahead, most of us are stacking up new year resolutions. We’re also trying not to beat ourselves up over what we didn’t cross off the list in 2022. And as much as I love a fresh start and new goals, my new energy is giving “fxck them resolutions.”

Not because I have no goals, I have plenty of goals! I have so many goals that by the time I’m done with my list, It looks like a novel, I’m overwhelmed, anxious, and feeling like I have to go to war on Jan 1st. Now, for some people, that works. For a procrastinator like me, it does not. Feeling like I have too much to do will trigger those anxious feelings, and soon I’ll have nothing to do. Cuz I simply won’t do it!

The Big 4

This year, I’m going to try something a little different. Instead of writing a bunch of crap to do and saying “I have a whole year to get this done,” I’m going to write 3 or 4 pillars in my life that are really important to me. 3 or 4 things that need my attention. Those few things will be my mantra for the year, those are my focal points. The ultimate outcomes.

Granted, it takes more than some grandiose idea on a piece of paper to get shxt done. What really needs to happen, is a rise of some sort. That’s right bxtch, RISE TO THE OCCASION! 

Habits > Resolutions

Do I posses the kinds of habits that will even carry me toward my goal? Clearly, I don’t lack vision. It’s the discipline that trips me up. It’s the selflessness and complete lack of respect for my goals. The nature of me needing to accommodate those around me. My man, my kids, my family, whoever. What good is commitment if you only have it for others, and never yourself?

Moms get into the cycle of being exhausted, over worked, self sacrificing, and all those other things that get you a nice mothers day card, but don’t really amount too much. 

The only way to remedy this, is to stop making excuses for yourself, and change your habits so they can better serve you. Small improvements everyday will get me closer to who I want to be next year, and every year after that.

Moms have to take their wins in doses, because it is seldom all about them anymore. We have to steal our time, celebrate the small things, and find the pride in just keeping our shxt together with a smile. I personally don’t have the time or the energy to make some massive life adjustment on the 1st. I’ve got to make my road to success a part of my routine. I have to make my habits work for me and not against me. Sure I can say I’m going to read 5 books next year. But I certainly won’t if I can’t commit to cracking one open for a few minutes a day. 

I could absolutely put on my list that I need a six pack. But if I can’t make a habit out of eating right, it’ll never happen. If I make my budgeting my habit, I’ll have that investment property in six months. If I make my health a priority, I’ll only have sweets and wine on the weekends. Then i could look better, and feel better too. The only thing I want to be next year, is better than I was the previous year. Make better memories with my babies, be healthier, read more books, drink less wine, progress in business, make more time for my art, own more real estate, make better decisions on a daily basis. I don’t think that’s too much to ask! 

Health. Business. Family. Art. One thing to keep me healthy. One thing to make me money. One thing to nurture my family. One thing to keep me sane. A little progress everyday adds up quick.

-Pop

Health. Business. Family. Art. One thing to keep me healthy. One thing to make me money. One thing to nurture my family. One thing to keep me sane. A little progress everyday adds up quick.

I think I’ve learned that short term goals are easier to achieve, they’re gratifying, and they still get me to the larger goal. The small steps can make a big impact, and the consistency creates discipline!

If my goal is to own an investment property, I have to make a plan. This week I need to research what kind of loans I qualify for. Next week I plan where to cut my expenses. The following week I research homes and what area I want to invest in, an so on. If I want a property by the summer, then I need to make a plan for it! What do I need to do this month that will get me closer to that goal, and what are the HABITS that I need to incorporate into my daily routine to make it happen?

*Heads to amazon to order my planner.

Becoming.

This year I’m giving myself grace. I’m focusing on the big 4, and leaving room for life to happen. Because life WILL happen. My kid will catch a cold and keep me up all night, and I won’t have the energy to workout the next day. I will plan to save “x” amount of money this month and some unexpected financial crisis will knock on my door. Moms have to pivot. There is no perfect balance, and our shxt is usually derailed by other peoples shxt. So we learn to adapt. 

But I’m keeping my damn board…

In 2017, my best friend and I made vision boards. I didn’t get or achieve ANYTHING I put on that board. But the following year, I did. Every single thing, and then some. All of it just fell into my lap, and it turned out to be a life changing and transformative time for me. I think there was something powerful about the board. As it was happening, i didn’t even realize it. I looked at it everyday but never internalized it.

I just woke up and did the best i could. I imagine I could have gained even more if I looked at it with real intention, instead of just wishful thinking. What if I cultivated habits that shaped me into the person worth attaining and maintaining the things I wanted? Either way, I fell ass backwards into fruition, with no direction.

 2023 is about becoming something, rather than achieving something. If I can master a few good habits, I can master my discipline. And once we master discipline, we can knock out anything we put on that resolutions list. That’s my plan sis, and I’m stickin to it.